ONE of those informal blogs that starts without a subject pronoun...

Went to W. Va. to collect the kids. We arrived home with more family members than when we left- in addition to the kids, we also acquired an as-yet-unnamed skink, complete with already laid eggs, and Maria the box turtle. Maria rode behind my kids' backs on the way home, hiding in the crack of the back seat. Mrs. Skink & children live in a bucket until the aquarium transfer.

We all attended a fantastic little bluegrass gathering out in New Milton (a town with a post office that once was the size of a push mower shed, but has since installed one that may hold a mower plus three or four good huntin' dawgs), and though a couple of the groups needed, shall we say, a little rehearsal, some of the music was just perfect. The harmony, the banjo and mandolin layering so well with the guitar, surrounded by campers, that hallmark of American gypsies (and real Gypsies too, the Romany kind), and magnificent summer foliage, right in the heart of hillbilly Heaven...listening to music by such groups as the West Virginia Cutups and 23 Special...what an awesome sense of well-being and utter contentment- a treat for every sense indeed-

For more details my son keeps a creative, humorous journal, which is unfortunately not bloggified yet- maybe soon- Today I realized he certainly his perspective on Florida was quite different from my own- he's got a cynic's eye and the witticism of teenage boredom at his fingertips.

Should I go or shouldn't I? I'm feeling pretty torn up- wanting to and wanting not to go to Crowduck as is tradition every year. I MISS my kids who are in W. Va. right now (and I'll see 'em soon, they're having a good time and I'm resting being kid-free for a couple of weeks). I want to go up to Crowduck but I also know how I am there- I like it there but the mosquitoes and black flies are intolerable. The drinking is getting crazy and I finally talked with my folks about it and said ENOUGH ALREADY.

Good news is that MRSI (contracted by P&G to do case studies for them) liked our simultaneous interpreting, and asked us to come back and do more. :) That's good. Bad news is that I'm trying to see politically how I can go to Crowduck. Going on vacation is not a politically wise thing at work right now. Long story. But whether or not I go I'm kind of out of some things in a couple weeks anyway when Rosario's back. Though personally, she's going to need help. I'm good at the accounting, documentation, projects, etc. She's going to be OK but she's learning. I think she should concentrate on the clinics and maybe I can at least help her out with the payroll and accounting...? Well but that started out as her stuff, but she's slooooowwww...I don't know...but I will help her...and then I'll manage some projects, edit, Well while Rafael's gone we have taken care of everything. Gerry's like "What DID Rafael do here?" Um- everything I'M doing now. But if I go to CD Gerry wants Steph in charge of the office until Rosario returns. Well I'm going to get the payroll done...schedule...just show Steph how to do schedule...then will have her save the data entry...for me...that is, IF I go to Crowduck. Part of me feels like I HAVE to be at CD to take care of MY kids (protect or dissuade them from exposure to the glorification of stupidity), and others' kids as well. I originally wrote more here but I erased it. I don't want to hurt feelings. But really sometimes when I'm there I'm just TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED. There are times in my life that if it weren't for my kids I'd take a boat and just keep speeding across the lake and to a river and stop at every town and start a new life in each and every place, become all the parts of me that really exist. One piece of me would blend with each people and each place.

OK maybe I'll bring the 12-book set of the Left Behind series which Steve is just finishing. I was praying and praying for something that would touch him and lo and behold this is the series that did it. In Iraq someone gave him the first book and he was hooked. He's now on Book 12, when Jesus comes back. He's gotten into a lot of these types of mystery/adventure books like the da Vinci Code, etc. To be honest I've read a few books like that and I even read Book 1 of the Left Behind series, but I did not get hooked, since I considered it one scenario, one interpretation of prophecy, but Steve's gotten hooked, he's spellbound and intrigued by this series, imagine that, and I don't know how deeply these are affecting him spiritually but I hope very much so. Next I want Nathanael to start these and since he's big into these kinds of books, too, I hope that's exactly what happens. God really found a way to grab Steve's focus back onto Him for a while, and I hope it's a pretty firmly ground focus.

Top 10 Confessions that Make Me Weird

10. I have a recurring dream about eating wet dirty socks.
9. I spend hours watching Takeshi's Castle on Spike TV.
8. I'm bipolar.
7. Jackie Chan's sorta cute in an entertaining, kick-boxing way.
6. Sometimes I tell young guys to pull their *&$(% pants up already. Your crusty underwear is not sexy.
5. I've watched Waterworld several times because Kevin Costner is SMOKIN' as a fish-man. No one with gills has ever looked hotter.
4. Sometimes I dream about having kittens. Not as pets but as in giving birth to actual kittens. And then I feel weird because if I don't turn into a cat myself then I'm the wrong frickin' species.
3. I think angels modeling underwear is just WRONG.
2. Sometimes I shop at VC anyway.
1. I was once visited by a real angel (I'm for real this time- no lie).

Spent the morning in hand surgery in one place, spent the early p.m. with a coughing baby in the peds clinic.

OK, the surgery was Olga, and the coughing baby is Andy. Both are gonna be fine. :) Olga and her sisters are a riot, and her carpal tunnel surgery was very short. I was with Olga when she went out, came to, and everything else (including all the appointments leading up to the surgery) and I'll be there for the follow-up. Her daughter and four sisters came to see her, and the daughter's big'n'pregnant and her American husband speaks no Spanish. It's so funny that he just sits there with a bunch of Peruvian women-in-laws yakking away around a totally oblivious him. During follow-up one of the sisters took out her CAMERA and started shooting pix of a post-up Olga groggy and propped up in a chair, with her daughter faking labor pains for the shot.

And Andy, what a doll, I just love that little guy and all the little babies I see. He's fine, has an ear infection, he's starting developmental therapy (isn't crawling yet at 11 months) so if you're reading this, please pray he catches up on his milestones and his ear infection disappears with the antibiotics he's getting. I just love the little Guatemalan babies everywhere, with their cute chubby cheeks and heads full of lots'n'lots of thick, straight hair. Sometimes straight down like Andy's and sometimes poking spiky straight up like Alfalfa (Micah was like that). All so adorable.

Returned to the office and did more work, relaxing. Who'da thunk accounting and scheduling were relaxing? Yes, you heard that from me. (Knock on wood.)

Interesting weekend and very relaxing. I'm thinking of starting another blog of my poetry so I won't lose it all like I did once when I stored all the final versions once on a disk and then promptly lost the disk.

OK, people are saying Nancy Reagan's doing this, doing that. May campaign for stem cell research? Hey stem cell research is just fine as long as it isn't fetal stem cells. So much stem cell research is underway using all the other kinds of cells- bone marrow. Skin. Especially umbilical. With much success. Stripping an embryo of his/her parts is unnecessary, greedy, disgusting, repelling. There are body brokers who go about selling tiny organs. It's a sick and twisted thing, and these go to the highest bidder. They will get fetal organs- stem cells, fetal livers, kidneys, etc. from abortuaries. It's technically illegal but they get around it, and I've seen exposee on regular network TV on shows like 20/20.

Now my grandpa died of Parkinson's and Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's and Reagan had Alzheimer's. The idea of hijacking a baby's body parts in order to harvest it for yourself is such an abhorrent idea to me, I would not do it for Michael J. Fox. I would not do it for Reagan, and I wouldn't do it for my grandpa. I bloody hell would not do it for myself and if I ever get one of these illnesses and start to die of it nobody had better EVER start campaigning to get an innocent child's parts in me to try to jump start my nerves. I would rather rot for years. I'm going to piss people off but dammit to hell let them be pissed, that's such a SICK and detestable thing, to harvest people for body tissues for one's own selfish life, very little repulses me more. It is criminal. Unethical. There is so much stem cell research that offers so much hope, there is no need to resort to the sickest form of science.

Breather

Calmer day today. Thank God. Someone in the law firm 2 floors below us, who was at that deposition yesterday, told my boss Gerry I did a good job. :) I will TRY to accept that compliment though I know she couldn't tell how badly I really messed up. If anyone ever sees the six hours of grueling, tedious videotape, and hears me stumbling all over my words, and nearly pass out of low blood sugar so I couldn't concentrate, they will see how bad I was. I will take the compliment anyway and shut up and just hope that no one sees that videotape. The opposite side will probably say I sucked so bad they will try to have the whole thing done all over again. I don't think, though, to be fair, that anything I messed up on will be in the suer's disfavor. Too much of it is not pertinent to the case...Oh I pray to God either I wasn't so bad as I thought, or at least I pray that everything's OK and that it'll do...

I need to stop worrying about it...and if the law firm who hired us (me) never calls back, I hope to God it's because they didn't have a new case rather than that they didn't want me back again. The lawyer told me "don't worry, you did fine", but that's not because she understands Spanish and how many mistakes I made. Once someone brings that to her attention...well, no one's perfect, and at least now I have that experience under my belt.

Today I concentrated on things IN my comfort zone- invoices, light accounting, rectifying patient schedules, and praying for baby Yenci (age 11 days) who's in the hospital- her father told me she was gonna be OK...

VERY grueling day

Today I had one of the toughest assignments, if not THE toughest, I've ever had. Didn't expect it to be soooo long. It was a deposition and none of the client's conference rooms were large enough, so the deposition took place in a very WARM GARAGE. Yes, a garage! Anyway there we were, and it took 3 videotapes to do it all. I can't divulge all the details but suffice it to say a it's a personal injury lawsuit, deciding whether it's the guy's own fault he fell and nearly died, or is the fault of the company who contracted workers, the contractor, or the company whose building the guy was working on...AHHHH. During the morning I hadn't had much to eat and although I started off well, by early afternoon my heart started pounding and I started sweating. I couldn't concentrate to interpret adequately. I kept missing things. Everyone must have though I absolutely sucked. Well I kept not feeling well and someone noticed and asked if I was OK, and I said I couldn't concentrate because I wasn't physically feeling so well and so we all took a break and each person went to lunch for half an hour. Well I got some chips and yogurt and crackers and juice in me and after that I felt much better and I thought I was able to recoup during the rest of the deposition- things went more smoothly.
The lawyer of the guy suing (the one who fell) had her OWN interpreter there, whose SOLE job it was to find fault with my interpretation to be sure he had adequate communication back and forth. Mostly he doodled but I noticed him writing some things and during lunch when I came back EARLY I sorta peeked at his notes and saw where he thought I screwed up. I had used the English word "wiped" for "barrer" instead of "swept" which is closer which didn't particularly bother the lawyer who hired me. That among a few comments he made of stuff where he thought I hadn't interpreted properly, which is to say verbatim. Well that guy was a more experienced interpreter than I am. He seemed to be a very, very nice guy, a pastor in a Spanish-speaking Baptist church, actually, and though he was a native English speaker he had gone to school in Mexico for a year to learn Spanish and then lived in Panama for many, like 20, years. Gaaaaa!!! How can I compete with that? Plus it is easy to sit back and watch someone else interpret and find where they made mistakes. So anyway early on when I was starting to crash and burn he and the guy's lawyer made the comment that they wanted to review the videos and make a whole bunch of amendments to the thing. Well I noticed that during the afternoon when things were going better for me he didn't make as many comments but a couple of times when the guy was describing successions of events, he did point out a couple of things I had ommitted. The thing is to ask the guy to speak slooowly and sentence by sentence so that I do not miss one single thing. If he says 10 sentences then I might forget some detail.

I am scheduled to do simultaneous interpretation later this month with Rose Baz at the company where Rafael is now, and I know Rafael is probably kind of worried because we really, really, really need more training. If THIS was tough on me, that will be tougher. Because no one is stopped to repeat anything and you still have to say every single thing they say and in this case the people won't even know we're there telling a bunch of people in English everything they discuss in Spanish. I realize now that I'm not made of such tough mettle, I can crumble easily. I made it through today. I thought today would be easy because I'd done similar things before- depositions, court testimonies, etc. Nothing nearly as tough as this one was. Then when I came back Azza said she did a similar one once (in Arabic, I think) and she thought she was going to pass out it was so arduous. She said Rafael's done these (like I did today) when he was here and he's very, very good, and they even grilled and nit-picked over him.

That Baptist pastor, he was a nice person, and I know it's his JOB to make sure everything is adequately translated and to poitn out my deficient work, but it always seemed like he was sort of smirking a little. Don't know if that was his intention but I myself prayed and prayed, and I'm glad God allowed me the strenght to recoup be that as it may. Well the lawyer who hired us said to me "relax, you did fine"...though I'm sure internally she had to have been saying...man, you suck!!!!!


Came back to work where Steve and I took our Arabic class with Azza- very relaxing after the circumstances- then I entered data and did office work I had planned for earlier in the day (thinking that this assignment would take only an hour or two and not the six plus that it took). WOOOOOOOW. I NEEDED that experience, as it put me WAY out of my comfort zone. I needed to learn, but I'm SURE glad that's over. If I'd have known beforehand about this, I may have deferred it to someone with more experience, though.

Will try

to make this epistle shorter. I know the one or two people who bother to read this are tired of my big long rambling posts full of trivia no one gives a fig about. No wonder my brothers call me "Cliff Claven".

Yesterday while the family and I ate at Napoli's, Reagan died. IMHO it was way past his time and he is freed from his brain now that was rendered mush by Alzheimer's. It's good that everyone is remembering who he really was and not that for the last 4 or 5 years of his life he didn't know he was ever president. Well he lived a good long life even though the last few of those years weren't so pleasant. What strength Nancy had to be his caretaker for so long, notwithstanding the nurses, etc. in their direct employ. I know people who are caring for loved ones without the financial resources and what strength they have to keep on keeping on. They don't have to...there are a lot of people who just give up or really just don't have the power or will or committment to do it, not that they are bad people but the ones who can do it are very special ones among us indeed. To be honest.....unless it were a child....I really don't think I am one of them.

Out in the Holler

We dropped the kids off in W. Va. (at Steve's parents') for a couple of weeks of summer frolick (and work, too, since Papa often teaches them woodwork, construction, etc.) in the woods. There's always some new project they're working on, and they have made a lot of assets in real estate- buying, improving, selling- and they're quite a team. Retired but stay quite active and healthy. He's oh about 73-ish and she's about 64.
The one thing I don't really like is current teaching in their church. They attend a small Lutheran church way out in the woods in a hollow, old church-been there for ages- down a country lane- great congregation and beautiful people- the problem? The pastor there, she's sooo darn liberal, I mean c'mon, God has standards and it's up to the church to at least define sin, and love the sinner unconditionally. When I'm there it's like why don't we all hold hands and sing We are the World? I'm OK, You're OK. Touchy feely. Besides I don't think the pastor's husband even likes me. Once I tried to talk to him and he just turned away from me. What's up? I like the people, the congregation. But I need a church, I need church leadership, that defines the sin as God lays it down, and doesn't make concessions to the gods of the ages. I have many dear gay friends but I would not want a Christian church to concede to something that's forbidden by Christian precepts, which is gay marriage. This is what I mean, keep the standards, accept the people. But never endorse or admit sin. And gay marriage is not even a huge thing in my life, but there are many more issues that touch my heart more profoundly, and a church must keep those standards. I like the Catholic church's refusal to bow to the abortion lobby. They respect the sanctity of life.
Something I DO appreciate about our Lutheran church in Finneytown, and why I'm still with it, and if it weren't for Pastor Curry and his wife Kathy and my dear sweet Martha Lindner, who's such an evangelist in the core of her being, I probably may have switched. Pastor C. has kept the standards and has stood firm no matter what financial or political threat from the ELCA or other forces who may want him to compromise on teachings. I sure as heck don't have to be Lutheran. I'm Christian. Period.

Calmer

Things a little calmer today emotionally. Still, an extremely busy day, as busy as yesterday. Had an appointment at the clinic and was going to just go there for this one person but I ended up attending to 4 appointments. One was Blanca's new baby Wendy- absolutely adorable- how can I put into words- preeeeecious! Blanca's a new mom, 18 years old, just learning. When the doc cleaned out the baby's bellybotton, Blanca's face just winced and almost cried. There was gunk in the navel from when the cord had fallen off and the first doctor thought it was an infection, but it was just residue. Baby Wendy didn't cry or flinch or wince at all and Blanca had to understand it was OK to clean out the navel, that the baby was all sealed up now. :) I remember being a new mom and having these same feelings. Boy I ticked off a lot of doctor fretting over the baby. Every little thing and I went crazy and cried and got dramatic like everyone was out to hurt my baby. By the time Micah came along I was still nutso but less so, more at east with him having had the experience. Still had postpartum fears and paranoia.

Well we watched the Bee last night, and saw some familiar faces there. Little Abby Eustace stood in front of Nathanael in the "lineup" last year. And I do remember David Tidwell, but the little boy that fainted, I don't remember. Nathanael and I were rapt. For those who don't know, he tied for 16th in the National Bee last year. We won the whole trip to DC courtesy of the Cincinnati Post and Nathanael made the front pages, the news on the networks, and had more than his 15 minutes of fame.

Tomorrow to W. Va. Don't really feel like going, but Steve needs another driver. He still has backaches. His aches and pains are starting to worry me just a bit. He seems to have an ache here, a pain there, some major back problems. His cholesterol is wayyyyyy, I mean, sky high. So he's on the medicine for that. And for his back problem, he couldn't even feel his foot. So he went to a chiropractor, someone most people don't believe in. Well she put him on this device and when the device moved his legs, he could hear an audible "pop"-like sound in his back, and seconds later he could feel his foot again- they had decompressed the nerve that was pinched.

Boiling

What do you do when someone you really like and care about is at the boiling point, so much so that she angers other people...and is way outrageously defensive, nervous, insistent, territorial, mistrustful of others (even clients, so clients are starting to leave...)...what do you do when someone goes wacko at a client who's never not paid, never given anyone a reason to be defensive...what do you you do when someone is so defensive she gets defensive over old books, locks up everything, gets possessive, thinks the other shoe's going to drop all the time...and who's really a nice wonderful lady but ever since another co-worker upon whom she relied so much left she's seemed ready to have a nervous breakdown. Over the dumbest things but in her mind they're huuuuge...has anyone given her a reason to fret and go crazy like this...or even if someone gave her a little pebble of a reason it's now a boulder. I think this person's about to have a meltdown. But I or anyone could end up being collateral damage if we're in her way, or she could really damage herself and her relationship with others. What she calls "The German Way" has slowly started to become "The A. Way" because I don't know any Germans who'd think this is normal.

I got another one.

Another blog. An anonymous one. So if you find it and suspect it's me, well, maybe it is and maybe it isn't. And just so you know,

All the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely, well, intentional. If you accidentally find that blog in the million others and read about yourself, maybe you will recognize yourself. But...what I'm doing is hiding some minor specifics so maybe you won't. I really don't want to hurt feelings, but I gotta expel that stuff one way or another.

Today- kinda stressful at work- blah blah blah- long story short I was shown how to do some things and was doing them but these are someone else's turf, and I really didn't know. She got defensive and we had a discussion of sorts and I think it's OK. The boss man doesn't care how we resolve it as long as it gets done. Here's a nice lady who really frets a lot, it's kind of like she's going into super-defensive mode a lot. I can understand why because sometimes those vibes are put out, intentionally or not, and people seem to have been let go in the past over minor things. She's afraid of making one mistake and POOF she's gone. And sometimes Gerry really does act like that, he has a SHORT memoroy for things that go smoothly and things that don't go smoothly, or things that had nothing to do with you but that he somehow subjectively associates with you, and forever it's stuck in his mind. It's his own Achilles heel as he has lost business over this but it's hard to see your own faults- we all have our blind spots. He needs this feedback but I'm afraid he won't listen. "Hey, you're making your employees nervous and hyper even though you're on the surface so laid-back and informal..."