Top 10 Confessions of a 39-year-old Wack Job

10. I don't want the secret to get out that sometimes I make mistakes in my work.
9. I do not like "Family Guy".
8. My favorite commercials are by a phone company. Each commercial has an ooold little old lady using slang and talking about getting 10 kinds of nasty. I nearly pee in my pants every time those old men gyrate.
7. I have stacks of laundry that need to be done.
6. My favorite scent is P&G's Gain.
5. I'm addicted to Gain, Diet Mountain Dew, and Ice Breakers gum.
4. My other favorite scent is Nutrisse Conditioner for Color-Treated hair (apricot).
3. I color my hair because I'm mostly gray. I don't even know what my real hair color is .
2. I like beets and broccoli.
1. I like the president. I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I don't even agree with him all the time. I really have searched the catacombs of my soul for answers but have yielded nothing but the fact that, sigh, alas, I am now resigned to the fact that indeed I really do genuinely like W.

Preemie

Today was busy. Started by going w/ a nurse to visit a very young mom and her preemie, little Kelly, who at 5 weeks is still only 4.5 pounds, but when she was born she was 3 pounds something. She's just soooo tiny and precious, only 17 inches long. Little Kelly's been in the hospital a while and Mom Inez is still lactating, so the nurse was requested by the hospital to go do a home visit and help Inez get used to nursing, since she's had trouble nursing. Well they have these really cool nipple things nowadays that help babies nurse who are too used to the bottle. So in the back bedroom that baby started nursing really well! Hopefully Inez will continue. Inez' young husband was there too and he was so in love with both of them. There were other people sleeping in the front room of the apt., you know people kinda bunch together and live under a roof, laboring here and there. I really hated that apt., the carpet being so grimy and soiled and nasty. The place would be better without a carpet. It was yucky. I hope little Kelly never has to touch that. She's so precious!
This afternoon I had to go to court. Second time for this family. The man is a construction contractor. He makes lottttts of $$$$$. He's the one who pays laborers a few bucks an hour but reaps in big, big profits. Well he's lying on his taxes, too, and the lawyer says she's gonna prove it. But today was about child support and custody of the ex-girlfriend's 2 little girls. I had met with the little girls and the judge last week. Anyway the lady has a friend who is very into prayer and is a very evangelistic Catholic woman. She accompanies her in these custody visits. She helps people tremendously despite being hurt by a drunk driver some years ago which caused lasting injury (and has not received remuneration- gee, since when is justice served in every case?) The girls' mom also has severe knee injuries. This terrible guy just threw her out on the street, his own daughters too, didn't even give her enough time to get the girls' clothes. The woman was absolutely destitute. She went to the church woman and the church really, really helped out and is very charitable. She took the lady and daughters under her wing. Well today the guy's been order to pay a sum I think is tooooo low, but it is something, per month, retroactive to when she filed for support. Gets partial custody but we'll see how it goes. There's a meaaan ol' stepmother involved, too, whom the mom doesn't want her girls to have contact with. But she had to bite her tongue. The lawyer was pleased with me and took my card and gave it to her brother who owns a business and would like interpreters for many of his workers, too.

So I have generated business from Rough (contracted us to translate manuals), from this lawyer, from other places. But one place has told Gerry they didn't like how I did. I know this person. And I think he's wrong. It was a simultaneous interpretation. I worked with one of these people, from MRSI, on the diapers, which went well. And the client still P&G. But the ones who hired us were different, not MRSI like last time. Well for some reason this client wants to pay less, they wanted to pay less from the beginning. I don't even know what they have to do with the study since all they basically do is provide the room to have it in. Well the MRSI, same guy I worked with before, said I summarized too much rather than word for word and that I wasn't aware of cultural nuances. It's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. The MRSI guy must have told that company because now they're complaining about the price. And we are the lowest price out there. The cultural nuance thing is stupid, there's nothing to that. Split ends are split ends. And the interviewees were from all different cultures anyway- Guatemala, Peru, Mexico. People from Peru talk and carry themselves differently from Guatemalan Indians. But it's irrelevant here anyway. The "summarizing" part, I don't know. I thought I did pretty well word for word if I could hear it. Now sometimes I know I need to work on listening comprehension-when someone tells a long story, to try to remember all the details, or get it all correct. I definitely need to work on it. When I've been listening only to Spanish for a long time it isn't so hard. I definitely speak better than I understand (orally). I usually understand everybody but sometimes I get something wrong, who was going where? Whose car, hers or his? That kind of stuff. But even so, in this case there wasn't so much to mix up. Even though there were a couple things I couldn't hear, especially at the beginning. So anyway, I do realize I need MORE TRAINING in that part of this so that I can get better at this in the future (simultaneous interpreting). Regular interpreting is much easier. But this is hard. So anyway who knows. I told Azza and will tell Gerry, and Azza confirms and totally supports me, that so many people ask FOR me, many companies request me back, that if these particular people don't want me back it's not big deal to me. Send someone else! By all means! I don't care! As long as it doesn't affect the other stuff I do. And I will try to practice much more, train much more, on SI. When I've done this with Claudio or Freddy as a team, things go well, when we take turns.

So sorry this is long-winded. Steve and I had our Arabic class and then I took the kids to Cece's. All for now. If you've made it through this epistle, I congratulate you. I don't know WHY you did it, because I'm sure you're utterly confused and bored.

Nathanael

...has a blog now. Please go there! Now! Hurry! Don't waste a moment of your time! Bring your twinkies!

www.chuckmasterson.blogspot.com

Wassssfunnnnn

Gilboa and Cedar Point were fun. Steve and Nathanael dove Gilboa and lots of people were enjoying the good weather and diving. After 1 night in a tent, Micah and I went up to Cedar Point Saturday. Micah had a blast. The 2 of us rode the finger rollercoaster (125 mph both up and down!), which is really called the Dragster. We rode another really scary one called Viper or Cobra or something to do with snakes. We rode the Corkscrew. In addition Micah rode quite a lot of other things. One called Demon Drop. OK I'm usually wary of things named after sinister beings but hey I've ridden the Beast about a jillion times. Most people at an amusement park like CP or Kings Island are skinny and about twelve. The very obese can't or won't ride the stuff. But I did see a coupla old folks, even older than I am, on the big rides. :) We rode lots of trams and sky rides, but really didn't have time to do everything. We left several big attractions sadly unridden....:( So I guess it means we'll have to hit it again soon. btw the food there is outrageously expensive. I don't know why so expensive since they already inflate the ticket prices, even after the rebates you can get from Holiday Inn or Meijer's. Sticking a $2.75 per 20-oz. bottled water vending machine at the head of a line is price gouging, isn't it???? Anyway if they just cheapened the food a little I think just MAYBE they'd make a little more profit, more people would stuff their fat faces on it. As it is a lot of folks hold back when they can. But I really suppose supply does meet demand for max profit at that price (sigh). But I sure didn't want to spend lots of $$ on the fat food there.
Micah slept like a log in a motel in Tiffin and then went back to Gilboa the next day. The 2 boys both did the zip line and then on the way home we stopped and made burgers, etc. for a nice sunny picnic at a rest stop (on the propane stove).

Well Dan just told me he doesn't read my blog anymore cause it's "churchy and Bush-y". Oh really? Well his vitriol against W has really poisoned his view on some other things. More on that another time. Uh have I really mentioned the prez very often? See, his perception is REALLY clouded. I'm something in his eyes and won't change. It's stamped and imprinted and even if I never say the word "Bush" again he'll still see me as some staunch right-wing stuffed-shirt conservative war-for-oil person, and I guess he has everyone called "conservative" pretty much pigeonholed and boxed. I will admit I'm conservative on some things but fairly liberal on others with regard to the 2 party platforms. And guess what, I'm neither Republican or Democrat. Huh? Oh hey Dan, Dad, who put words in my mouth, who will never know what I really think because guess what, YOU ALREADY KNOW! Right? Because you've got me tagged as something I'm SOOOO really NOT!

Cedar Point and Rough

On the way back up to Cedar Point so just my 2cents' worth before I go.

Spend the last 2 days at Rough (pronounced Rauw, rhymes with Mao)- this is where I really wanna work (and could do a lot of good) someday. Could combine the manufacturing/documentation skills with interpreting. Well the Production Manager that I spent the last 2 days with sorta intimated that just a leeeeetle when I said wow, so many people say such good things, I'd like to work here too! Said it sorta halfheartedly but actually not...I mean I guess I was fishing without meaning to... and I have nibbles... and I think with prayer and good monitoring this could be good for me. I see a lot of good I could do there, both interpreting and in their 5S program, and totally revamping their severely lax documentation system. I mean they have no system of revisions, etc., which costs them lots of time, man hours, and money. Typical story of people not wanting to change, working in silos, getting territorial, etc. You know the story. But wow, how they really value their employees there. I just got done interpreting for many PR's and will go back Tues., and their production is so good, the people are so enthusiastic to work there, and they're treated fairly, that there's pretty low turnover and despite some problems people enjoy going to work there every day. Problems being inaccurate paperwork and scheduling changes. Well the inaccurate paperwork is very costly as well as scheduling (for which they bill when the change comes from the client, but it's frustrating to work on a rush job only to find it sitting for 2 weeks NOT being sent). The paperwork is a result of not really needing much document control when it was a small company but when you don't put in proper controls when it's small the problem gets cloned as the company grows and it really turns into a cancer eating at your profits...

Anyway that's what I know about Rough. I'd like to work there someday....not right now today...but sometime the future, I'd put it on a middle burner of their was such a thing... that's what I'd really like to do. Getting ready for Japan right now (or trying, since I'm so busy with interpreting).

Steve and Nathanael will be diving at Gilboa while Micah and I romp around Cedar Point.

Man it's such a great feeling coming out of a workplace that is SO pleasant! It's not that their aren't conflicts because the great thing is that they recognize there ARE, it's not some sort of orgy of we-are-the-world schmaltzy unity. It's just a real place and people really are respected.

Is ANYONE out there?

Please answer!

The sky is falling!

How do you KNOW the age of meteorites and earth when time itself is relative?

Well to those 0 or 1 of you who actually read this, I haven't written, computer's been out while Zoomtown sent us a new router gratis.

Been busy helping a lot of people, pregnant moms and babies, children, adults. Today I saw a lot of teeth get cleaned. The day before I saw a lot of fetal checkups and a positive pregnancy result. Thursday I was at a different dentist's for a mom whose little son is in Shriner's.

2 things I want everyone seeing this to pray about:
1. One of the pregnant moms I help has a baby whose brain is not fully formed. In fact, some of it is missing. This baby is not expected to live long after birth. So it is heartbreaking. Please pray God's will and comfort and healing be done. It's not beyond God to fix this whole thing and put a brain in that baby's head. Miracles happen. If God does not choose that route, then please pray for God's comfort in our grief and sadness.

2. Pray please for a little 3-year-old boy (the one in Shriner's). They are from North Carolina. This little boy was burned on a BBQ grill which caught his clothing on fire and burned his little body over 60%. He and his Mommy are here in Cincy while he receives treatment at Shriner's. He's had skin grafts for his torso and much of this skin has come from part of his head. They can only get so much skin from the head (4 layers) and after that no hair would grow. So- they still have donated skin on his thighs, etc. and a little piece of his belly. So don't know if they will have enough of his own skin to cover him...? Don't know exactly how it works so- pray please for healing of this little one. Name is Alejandro. BTW his birthday is Aug. 28 so if you wanna send a toy (Spiderman toys especially welcome) to Shriner's please do! He'll be 4. I know I'm going to. Some good things- little Alejandro's face, head, genitals, fingers, and toes were spared in this burn. So thank God for that!

Micah's birthday was fun. But still haven't done all the celebrating yet. I got him a little walkie-talkie set that set me back a bunch and found out he's already using some CB radios donated to him by Karl and Mike Boyd and so this was a redundant gift but he says he wants it still. (Different channels available, weather radio, plus I got him 2 accompanying sets of headphones, etc.) I figured he'd use this with Brian. I need to know more about his "stuff" so I don't get it wrong again. He really wanted a PS2 but all the stores were sold out- and he wanted a new color TV but Steve said the one he has can be fixed easily- he actually has our old family TV. Not in the best of shape but hey what normal kid gets a TV and all in his room? Most kids don't even get their own room let alone all that. Right?


This weekend we were up north in Medina (near Cleveland) for Steve's friend's wedding at Holy Martyrs which is a beautiful church. Steve was in the wedding.* HM is exceptionally beautiful, with wooden beams and a sort of gazebo-like architecture with windows out toward the native scenery, in which one can do the Stations of the Cross outdoors. It was gorgeous and I can imagine every season is spectacular through those windows.

Later we went on toward Cedar Point but stopped short of going due to shortage of time and funds. We went instead to Maumee Bay which I really enjoyed, though my kids will tell you it was "boring..." Micah and I played Travel Sorry in a sandbox. We took a hike at the Nature Center and saw some cute turtles and raccoons. We went to the beaches (which the kids did not like- Micah said there was too much bird poop, and it IS Lake Erie, much better than before but still not perfect). I myself thought the beach was nice since I never actually SWIM in lake water (yuck). I just lay out and cross-stich, do crosswords, read, or sleep.

We will combine Cedar Point (for Micah's birthday- we promised him and had to break the promise last weekend so we GOTTA do it) with a trip to Gilboa in 2 weeks. Nathanael, who didn't want to go to Cedar Point, and Steve, who'd rather dive, will dive at Gilboa while Micah and I do CP. Next weekend will be the great long Yard Sale (about 500 miles long, Cincinnati to someplace in Alabama) which the kids and I always like.

*Nathanael's journal has some funnier, more descriptive notes about this wedding- but for MY record (since I don't know WHO reads this) I will say it was a lot of fun. OK, they are plain-looking...she's not a 20-year-old bride...OK? He has some extra teeth....OK? But who cares, they were RADIANT! Until someone put vaseline on her car in a silly attempt to "decorate" it. (OK, I am taking the 99.9999% chance that they do NOT know about my blog.) The rehearsal dinner was fabulous. The reception was lots of fun. Of course my son Nathanael thinks everything's boring...I'd post some of his account if he'd let me.

IT's been a while. Writing this blog from a 10-min. break at Pierre where I am until 4 today. Broke my heart to send a person away from work with a bogus ID. Seems a lot of Peruvians come with bogus ID. I was almost in tears and I had to explain there was nothing else she could do. She tried calling a friend in Cal. but to no avail. Finally just had to leave and I had to explain she couldn't re-apply to Pierre ever again even with a different ID. I can understand the HR person's reasons, too. She could lose HER job. I couldn't do that kind of work- hiring- because I just couldn't turn away someone who wanted to work. I'd look at the card and say "OK you're good come on in..." Then after all failed I took her out (she was in tears) to some sleazy American guy who was just sitting in his car in the parking lot, I don't know his story... she said he was her "friend" but he didn't know Spanish nor she English so I figure there was little they could ever discuss, but I guess some things don't need discussion. I just thought he was kind of sleazy. What kind of guy just sits in a parking lot all day? The one who made the bogus ID? Some pimpy-looking fat white guy with a clean car.