Nathanael 's back from band camp and Micah from aquarium camp. Now off to visit Grinnell, Carleton, and McAlaster with my parents and Ellen and then in a few days Steve and I are off as well. Renting a van with Dan, Tracy, and Erin. I guess we'll all reunite at I.Falls or Eau Claire or wherever they have planned this time.

91 degrees in Bismark today so it's just as hot there as here in Cincy.

And I'm loving it. I'm one of the few NOT bothered by heat or humidity. Cold, dry weather makes me itch all over.

Nathanael's band theme this year- The Music Man. He's armed now with his I-pod full of march music, Blue Man Group, Cake, Beatles, Carmina Burana, Grieg, Dvorjak, Earth Wind & Fire, and a few others....:) His friends introduced him to Cake and Frank Zappa and so now he chants about "the girl in the short skirt and the loonnnnnggggggg coat" or "Susie....Susie Creamcheese...." LOL

He has been getting out more lately and is chatting often online with Matt, BJ, and Aaron. BJ is a sophomore at Brandeis. Matt and Aaron- his age. He and Aaron used to sneak out at 3 a.m. for UDF ice cream. They thought I didn't know. Matt is the superachiever that rooms with him at band camp.

He is VERY into his artwork...namely, the fonts...

Nathanael and I have been playing acrostics a lot together online on www.talkcity.com.


Micah has been hanging with Brian most of the summer. They camp out a lot in the tent. Micah's into the Black-Eyed Peas and Nelly Furtado. :) And all of the oldies. He LOVES oldies. Any time we are in the car, he immediately puts it on the Oldies station.

He will be 13 in just a few days!

Well after vacation I'll be looking for another cat. Probably a grown female to lay around on my bed all day and to keep Tommy company. A spayed one, most likely.

I didn't catch up on this earlier, but Luna decided she just would rather be feral. She liked laying on the bed and sitting in the windowsill, but didn't like the concept of a litter box or even of going to the bathroom indoors. And she just couldn't like Tommy. She decided she'd rather live in the park. Not the same park where I found her, but in and near Warder. She was very unhappy living inside four walls. So she's the kind who won't be afraid of you if you see her outside, and will come to you for a bite to eat, but won't stay in a house all the time nor tolerate any other cats.

So I will be looking for a more tolerant cat. I like torties and callies and all of them for that matter. I like a cat that's a little bit vain and a little bit playful.

Tommy is the most playful cat we've ever had, more even than Oreo (the one we called "bounce").

What would WWIII look like? This could be it, because it's so global. Current culture has the prognosticated "WWIII" a mutually assured global destruction. However, that may not be. There may be lots of regional wars as well as a WWIV, WWV, etc.

Well it's bad enough I have a husband who may be going back there, but I can accept it. I just will not, cannot, send my kids there. I pray there is no draft again. Ever. Do you know the folks too young for Viet Nam are the FIRST American generation not subject to the draft. Except a very thin bunch of guys born in about 1937 or so- too young for WWII, too old for Korea. My dad was one of those but his brother went to Korea. Several of my uncles and all of my great uncles served. They had to. Notwithstanding, I just cannot send my kids to any conflict. Can any mother stand it? If either choose it, I will support them but not have a restful night. I will be on my knees night and day. It's different- when you're a wife you know your husband knows what he's doing. But even if your kids do, too, you don't want them there because you still want to protect them. They are your babies.

My kids are young men but are my babies.

When I hear those people, they sound harmless. Beneficial. Helpful.

When I hear some shrieking banshee like Hilary, she reminds me of those who have wounded me. Yes, I get very resentful. I try to hear what she's really saying but it can be difficult. Even when I separate it from what I feel, though, I will still disagree. She is wrong on so much even when she is right on some.

No need to comment.

I'm going to go on to other topics.

FYI I like the Pope and Chuck K.

I was just giving examples of how people can remind you of old voices. Their message gets lost because of that.

I have baggage too and some people really bring it out. It's hard to watch them because everything they stand for has hurt me.

Some things people have said to me lately have torqued me off. Now I'm not saying I have any right not to get torqued off. I guess I'm frustrated more with myself for failing to convey what I know to others without using words that, for them, are loaded with negative connotations and lots of baggage. The older people get, the less they are able to shed that stuff and see things anew.

I have been trying to train myself to do it, but it doesn't mean that anyone else can or even knows what that means or is willing to try. I guess it torques me off when people say, "You are an intelligent person, so I just don't see WHY you can believe/think xyz...." Talk about a loaded statement!

Or..."You must be listening/following Person X....who I think is total idiot..."

It's also frustrating when people confuse fact and opinion. As in:

1. There are facts. Not disputable. They are what they are.
2. There are opinions. Those are disputable. People can argue for days because they are subjective.

3. THEN there are facts that, despite being FACTs, that I, being human, cannot empirically prove or disprove, though there are some other humans who may come closer to doing so than I can, because they are better at explaining/science/apologetics, or whatever the topic, than I am.

I have gone through these with both Christian and non-Christian people.

I have gone through all kinds of questions, from whether sea salt and lab-created salt are the same thing (YES, there is no such thing as "well we'll agree to disagree" because sodium chloride is sodium chloride, it's a compound no matter where it comes from) through "are there moral absolutes?" (YES, and if you don't believe that, examine your heart...they are just called something else other than "moral absolutes"...but they are the same thing...when you're hearing Chuck Kolson or Jerry Falwell or the Pope, are you really hearing your old legalistic childhood preacher or old nun who whacked you on the wrists with a ruler, or prudish spinster aunt Matilda, or your abusive judgmental father...so the words carry baggage and memories and toxic connotation, so you are too clouded to think about it anew...we really need plain and simple language that has no baggage, but there is no such thing...that's why language always changes and the language of 2 generations ago in ANY languages sounds so stuffy and stilted and silly and backwards. EXAMINE it, though. It was the vernacular of the day. They are probably saying the same thing you really agree with.)

TOMMY playing with a piece of plastic.

Right now Luna still does not like Tommy. Integration phase here.

This is LUNA.

...and I found her again!!!

My pretty kitty. She came right to me but is nervous about being in a house. I put Tommy outside temporarily. If she can't get used to Tommy I will find her another safe home. Ms. Bella. Can anyone think of a better name? If you can, post it. I thought of Sybil (half/half face). I don't know. Streak, Starburst, Comet, Nightsky, Moonbeam, Stormy....?

On a hunch I drove by the park today again.

There she was!!!! That gorgeous cat! She came right to me even though she was a bit skittish.

I fed her some lunchmeat.

I asked the neighbors about her and they said she was a stray. So...I took her home. She seemed to be okay with the house but didn't like Tommy. Well Tommy tried to be friends. She stayed in my room a while. She ate. I talked to her and pet her. I let her go where she wanted. She wanted to sit in the windowsills.

Finally I decided we'd do a tour of the yard. I picked her up, took her to the front porch, and as soon as possible she escaped from me with baby Tommy pursuing. Yikes! She ran over to a neighbor's where she is presently holed up somewhere. We tried and tried to cajole her out of wherever she was. I haven't seen her. Big mistake to take her outside so soon. Should have kept her in much longer.

I have had a lot of kitties who start out growling at each other upon meeting, only to be friends or a least tolerate one another later. I was sure it would happen with Tommy and, well, I was calling her Bella Donna...

Nathanael has been learning how to track animals so I think he's looking for her in the woods near our house. Now the neighbors whose house she ran past don't think she went to the woods at least via their yard because their little dog Miles would have barked incessantly. We looked in their bushes and their tall, tall trees, but no Bella... We have a lush woods in the neighborhood and I'm sure she will be OK if she stays there and we don't find her, but I still want her...I felt a real connection with that cat. But if she is just truly too feral, and she can't be happy here, well, she will have a nice life with lots of fat birds and mice out there. I just hate that she had to change where she lives, in that casae, though I don't think that park was too safe due to the extremely busy road nearby.

I will give it a few days and see if I or anyone can spot her. I wanted to photo her to show the world how incredibly striking her face is. She really is more tortie than callie but she certainly looks to be a little of each, I guess. Mostly tortie.

Will be sitting tomorrow at the house of kidlets (aka Dave's).

Been looking around for a callie or callie/torti mix...looking on web sites for now... I can't decide...

Steve says "no more cats" and sighs...bah...what does he know?

Callie girls

Still no sign of that puuuurty calico...I drive by the park often...I just may have to get one that looks like her...rrrreow!!!! I've read up on kitty cat genetics. White fur is dominant over other kitty fur colors. I read more on why white, blue-eyed cats can be deaf (we have had them, too). Thank God that doesn't happen in white, blue-eyed people. :) I'd be deaf as a post. Oh I need a puuuurty calico with the half-and-half face!

www.acclaimimages.com/_gallery/_pages/0079-0509-0210-5931.html

This is the lot like the cat I saw. Her orange side was pure light orange, no gray. Otherwise, this is very similar.

Ann

OK, just so you know:

1. I have never bitten a child. Except, of course, when I WAS a child, and I probably bit my brothers when I fought with them.

2. I had another dream last night. I dreamed my whole high school class was back at my high school and we were all redoing our senior year. We were all about 41, but we LOOKED like we did at age 18!

At the same time, the ACTUAL kids that age were completing classes. So I was going to school along with my kids. I explained to everyone that I was a senior and my son was a junior and my other son was in middle school. I had one class WITH each of my kids! The class with Nathanael was some advanced science class. The one with Micah was called "Bingo" class! We played the game in class in the cafeteria. LOL.

The explanation of all of returning from our various careers and locations to redo our senior year was because there had been a glitch in the computers, and none of us had actually earned enough credits to graduate, so we all had to return.

I then became friends with the "popular" people that in real life kind of ignored me in school! Well, I thought they ignored me, but in real life when I was at my hs reunion a couple of years back, I found out they probably all felt the same way about certain people, and everyone was friendly. The way we remember hs is so subjective...

I still want that cat! I went back yesterday and she wasn't there. I wanted her to be a stray so I could keep her! I have tried to find a pic of a similar cat but so far no luck.

Today I'm all emotional. If you're a woman you'll understand. Anyway, I had a dream last night. A ludicrous one. It was about a little boy, and I was either his mother or sister. He was a naughty boy and kept trying to see me in the shower. I thought that was terrible and did everything I could to keep him out. He kept trying to bother me. So first I took all of his toys out of his room. His room was actually in my parents' house because that's where the dream was. The shower was the really old shower in my parents' old bedroom that hasn't existed for many years. The child's room was the one that used to be mine, Dave's, mine off and on. I took all his toys and put them in the (now ruined) basement- the OLD basement even before the one the flood destroyed.

Well this kid kept bugging me and trying to peek at me. I kept telling him how inappropriate it was. Then when all else failed and he kept persisting, I bit this child on the wrist!!!!

Then, this child turned into a baby about 6 months old. He screamed and cried and by now I was most definitely his mother. He was so perplexed about why his mother would have bitten him. I was so heartbroken and sorry that I cried and cried, too. I told him how sorry I was and hugged him and even nursed him. I said I had to do it for his good but I hated to.

What a ludicrous dream! I remembered that dream during work today and during my lunch break I drove to the park across the road and just bawled! OMG I thought I was absolutely going loo-loo!!!! I hated the image of my teeth marks in that baby's wrist in my dream. I guess the dream stems from my having to discipline Micah so much though he definitely would rather have his toenails yanked out than see THAT....lol....But he was the one who when he was about 3 wanted to see what a woman's, you know, parts looked like, and he wanted to see "one of those" more out of curiosity about where he had come from than anything, but I told him I could only show him one on a baby, probably his cousin Jackie- he could help me change her diapers... but when we're grownup we cover those parts up... LOL...

So maybe my brain put all that weird info together and I had this weird dream and I just cried my eyes out.

While I was bawling like a complete nut job, I saw this black animal go by. At first I thought it was a cat. It had a strange face, from where I could see. Then I thought it was some sort of weird noctural animal I'd never seen, or an opossum of some sort. It seemed to have a white face. Out of curiosity I went over to look and indeed it was a cat. It was the most exotic, striking cat I have ever seen. She was mostly black but on her face was a stripe straight down the middle. On one side was ink black, and the other light orange tiger-striped. Her bib was white. She had a few mottles in her otherwise nearly black coat. Her feet were spotted with black and orange and white. She was SO friendly. I took her in my car where I toweled her off (it is sprinkling). She purred and cuddled up and she was so clean I realized she must belong to someone. I called Steve and told him if I go back to the park this p.m. after work and she is still there, I'm taking her home. =^..^=

So that's the start of my weird day. I know I'm a strange one.

Brag-o-rama

Nathanael got his newest SAT score. This time he scored an 800 on a different section of the test than the first time. Overall scores were wonderful on both, though 10 points higher on 1st. Will post shortly if you really wanna know.

ACT results: brace yourself-

34!

Need I tell you that's about the best you can get.

i'm going to ramble again.

Kim Jong Il MUST be stopped. He has been running a holocaust for over 10 years. He has starved hundreds of thousands of people to death- men, women, children. There are several hundred thousand political prisoners in gulags that rival anything devised by Hitler. And everyone says we were right to intervene in Germany. OK we need to stop THIS guy. We needed to think about it because of those people in the gulags. But no...people are thinking of it now only because California could conceivably get nuked off the map. Look, we need to stop suffering everywhere, not just OUR suffering.

For those who were not in favor of the Iraq war or who wouldn't be in favor of interfering in North Korea, I say:
No one wants war. And "live and let live" is a pretty good policy as far as respecting other countries' internal issues. However, "live and let kill" is NOT correct. That is why we stopped Saddam. It's why we stopped Hitler. The Viet Cong had to be stopped. I'm sorry the Iraq war has gotten messy. I don't necessarily have an answer. But letting Hussein do what he was doing to innocent people was NOT the answer. Letting Kim Jong Il do what he's doing is unconscionable as well. YES, I say we SHOULD interfere in places in Africa where roving gangs attack the innocent.

Can we police the world? Maybe not. But I'm not just soliciting the US, but the rest of the world. The rest of the world let Hitler do what he did for as long as he did. The rest of the world allows other holocausts and genocides to continue to this day. Saddam wanted to kill all of the Kurds and he damn near succeeded.

When you intervene to protect innocent people, that is correct. No, it isn't right to fight over oil. Part of it is about oil. I know. That's why the US is NOT intervening in countries that have no material that could profit us. That's wrong. But yes, part of it was and is about getting Hussein out and at least trying to put in a government that won't be equally as bad. I know, it's Babylon. Literally. When have they ever had a fair government?

Did the US north REALLY fight to free slaves? Or was it only for tobacco and cotton? Well, it was both. Did the US really want to free the Jews and the parts of China oppressed and raped by Japan? Well, yes and no. There is a big economic component to any war. An economic component that sometimes doesn't turn out to be as big a deal as people thought. I doubt Bush is sitting there wringing his hands over getting more oil. He has plenty. I really think he's not a bad guy but acts so hapless it raises the ire of a lot of people.

My ranting and observations for today.

Live and let live may be okay, but live and let kill is NOT.

Oh, Nathanael....Nathanael Nathanael Nathanael...

Well he really didn't have any fast food experience...anyway he was unceremoniously let go from Subway after a week. He's kinda spacey but in his defense the woman who hired him really didn't give him much training. Yes, he made a few spacey mistakes, like asking a man with a fly in his sandwich if he still wanted it...d'oh...to his credit, in a "you don't want this, I assume" voice. But yes, if a fly is in your sandwich you just automatically start again. You don't make the comment. You just pitch it and start...well now he knows...I can just see my son with his head in the clouds asking goofy questions like that...

I remember him playing tee ball. He would sit down in the outfield and identify the names of all the plants around him while being oblivious to the game. Same thing now.

Well he'd better get a job doing something, well, that will utilize his gifts. He just doesn't live in the real world. He sort of lives in his own reality. :) He's not as bummed as I am. Well maybe he is but he doesn't show it. He really had a lot of restrictions in his schedule and that was another factor, I assume.

Oh, well. C'est la vie.

Micah and Brian are building a bike from parts of various others.Plus about $35 worth of new parts which, of course, I ended up financing. Until I get Micah to mow the lawn a few times to fulfill his end of the deal.

I just brought Nathanael back from Borders where he got two Kafka books- Metamorphosis (about a nondescript salesman who awakens one morning as a giant bug) and The Trial (about a guy arrested and tried for no crime in particular). Old classics, I guess. :) I got a new Games magazine, the only puzzle mag with challenging, interesting puzzles. Sorry, the rest of the mags are way too easy. It didn't start that way. I just got older. I have solved way too many word games.

A co-worker had a heart attack over the weekend. It's ironic that I was just thinking about that same person and the fact that he'd better watch his health. This guy was a ticking infarction bomb: overweight, with high blood pressure, and the temper of a rabid badger, the latter generally attributed to his hot Cuban blood. Well he didn't want anyone to know, but his girlfriend Mayra called up and told us he'd been in the ICU over the weekend. Supposedly he's going to be OK but only if he gets his health issues under control. Hopefully he will take a serious look at his own mortality and make some decisions about what remains of his lifetime.

Nathanael waving from the quarry

Nice, hot, sultry July.

We went to Gilboa. Put up the big tent and Micah's tent that he uses to camp with Brian (it's Brian's tent). Steve and Nathanael got one dive in. Water seeped into one of Steve's myriad of cameras. Even small vacations for Steve are often an tedious exercise in equipment maintenance- he brings so much expensive stuff instead of the way I do vacations- a change of clothes, my meds, toothbrush, cheap camera- check, and I'm off.

I looked at the deceitfully blue sky. Noticed the harbinger clouds preceding a front- those long, thin, jagged-edged ice crystal clouds the jet stream pushes ahead- they looked innocent enough, but I told the guys, "Well, it isn't going to rain today, but wait until tomorrow..." Sure enough, in the middle of the night rumblings began far off...by 8 a.m. they were hitting more than missing us...by 9 a.m. it was a steady line of cells and torrential downpours. So we hit the Waffle Hut and headed back to muggy but rain-free Cincy. No one is allowed to scuba during thunderstorms, d'oh, unless they plan on death by electrocution.

Fastforward to tonight. Micah's being his argumentative self. I had to send him to his room once. Contending with his mouth is exasperating.