Should I go or shouldn't I? I'm feeling pretty torn up- wanting to and wanting not to go to Crowduck as is tradition every year. I MISS my kids who are in W. Va. right now (and I'll see 'em soon, they're having a good time and I'm resting being kid-free for a couple of weeks). I want to go up to Crowduck but I also know how I am there- I like it there but the mosquitoes and black flies are intolerable. The drinking is getting crazy and I finally talked with my folks about it and said ENOUGH ALREADY.

Good news is that MRSI (contracted by P&G to do case studies for them) liked our simultaneous interpreting, and asked us to come back and do more. :) That's good. Bad news is that I'm trying to see politically how I can go to Crowduck. Going on vacation is not a politically wise thing at work right now. Long story. But whether or not I go I'm kind of out of some things in a couple weeks anyway when Rosario's back. Though personally, she's going to need help. I'm good at the accounting, documentation, projects, etc. She's going to be OK but she's learning. I think she should concentrate on the clinics and maybe I can at least help her out with the payroll and accounting...? Well but that started out as her stuff, but she's slooooowwww...I don't know...but I will help her...and then I'll manage some projects, edit, Well while Rafael's gone we have taken care of everything. Gerry's like "What DID Rafael do here?" Um- everything I'M doing now. But if I go to CD Gerry wants Steph in charge of the office until Rosario returns. Well I'm going to get the payroll done...schedule...just show Steph how to do schedule...then will have her save the data entry...for me...that is, IF I go to Crowduck. Part of me feels like I HAVE to be at CD to take care of MY kids (protect or dissuade them from exposure to the glorification of stupidity), and others' kids as well. I originally wrote more here but I erased it. I don't want to hurt feelings. But really sometimes when I'm there I'm just TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED. There are times in my life that if it weren't for my kids I'd take a boat and just keep speeding across the lake and to a river and stop at every town and start a new life in each and every place, become all the parts of me that really exist. One piece of me would blend with each people and each place.

OK maybe I'll bring the 12-book set of the Left Behind series which Steve is just finishing. I was praying and praying for something that would touch him and lo and behold this is the series that did it. In Iraq someone gave him the first book and he was hooked. He's now on Book 12, when Jesus comes back. He's gotten into a lot of these types of mystery/adventure books like the da Vinci Code, etc. To be honest I've read a few books like that and I even read Book 1 of the Left Behind series, but I did not get hooked, since I considered it one scenario, one interpretation of prophecy, but Steve's gotten hooked, he's spellbound and intrigued by this series, imagine that, and I don't know how deeply these are affecting him spiritually but I hope very much so. Next I want Nathanael to start these and since he's big into these kinds of books, too, I hope that's exactly what happens. God really found a way to grab Steve's focus back onto Him for a while, and I hope it's a pretty firmly ground focus.