Thank you everyone who has been following Nathanael and his journey of figuring out what he really believes about God and, well, everything. I support my beautiful son 100% all of the time and all I do is call out to God in my own weakness. My heart breaks but I know God is merciful and looking out for him. It's been really, really hard on both of us. My heart and intellect continually cry out to Christ and Christ is merciful and I know that there is much that I am not aware of, and God is working everything together for good. I can not know the whole future but God has promised me He will not give me more than I can endure. I think I always knew these moments were coming for Nathanael, no matter what the university. It is drawing me closer to Steve. Micah is actually maturing little by little and he is open to people discussing these things with him....he has said a lot of things and he has admitted the "I don't believe in anything" statements have had to do with his upholding his "image"...his little group of friends has begun to disband and I believe now he is ready for the next steps of his life. He is maturing day by day. I watch my children go through these things and all I do is fall to the floor open and vulnerable calling out to God that I am broken.
There are miracles and they confirm what I believe. They do not happen as Santa gifts. They happen to confirm something (i.e. Duane Miller).
Another thing is that I am going through menopause. My hot flashes and emotions are something I have not experienced before. I am broken in body and spirit and right now that is how I fall on my face before God. I can cling on to his promises for my children and me and Steve. Thank you for not making fun of me or my faith at this time.
posted by Ann @ 6:33 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
While I haven't been following all you've discussed, your discussion of knowing this was coming resonated with me. I was just thinking about my son, 15, and praying for him. He is private and I know he believes but I don't know that he cultivates his relationship with God.
I hope and pray for your son's spiritual journey as well as my own.
And the menopause thing? Oy! I'm probably not that many years behind you. Good luck with all the physical symptoms. I hope it isn't too difficult a transition.
One of the hardest things a mother has to go through is coming to grips with the fact that her child is not going to accept all the values she has spent her life teaching him. It hurts tremendously, because she cannot understand how he could have come to different conclusions than she did.
For me it happened when my Steve was in high school and started drinking, even putting his beer in the frig, which I promptly dumped down the sink. That was very painful for me.
You cannot know what a child will believe in the long run in his adult life. You just have to know you gave him the best guidance you possibly could.
While it may be hard for you right now, don't ever stop giving both of your boys your love. You know how much they love you.
Aunt E.
I am here for you praying we can connect tomorrow please send directions to your house or call me any time day or night if you need me.
love you,
vir
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