To everyone:
Yes I realize he's a grown man.
Yes I realize he has his own thoughts and ambitions.
Yes I am protective of my son. I put a lot of time in the construction of that brain of his. I ate a lot of cholesterol during a long pregnancy in order to build some good gray matter. And he is MORE than his brain. I am not just sending a brain to college, but a whole person.
He is a grown man but yes, he IS my son and I will be protective of him until I am 237 years old.
Until YOU send a kid off to college, do NOT lecture me or deride me for feeling the way I feel. If you HAVE sent one off to college, then feel free to give me advice. I don't know how my parents were able to send me, by then a grown woman, to Colombia. I was chomping at the bit to get out of Dodge.
HE KNOWS how I feel and I have told him NOT to worry about it and it is normal for parents to do this.
As a Christian I continue and will always continue to pray for spiritual as well as intellectual health and I feel that my kids and universities tend to neglect spiritual health so yes, I do worry!!!
posted by Ann @ 9:16 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
You are right. It was very hard to send you off to Bogota, and the worry never completely goes away. But the only thing worse than feeling blue because your kid goes off to school is the feeling you'd have if he sat around the house like a blob and did nothing with his life, so chalk it up as another of life's experiences that comes with parenthood--letting go. Mom
One of the hardest things a parent has to learn is that your child is not going to accept all of the values you've tried to teach for 18 years. For me it was very difficult to watch my older son take up drinking. This will happen whether a child goes to college or not. It's a conflict, because you want your child to "think for himself", but you also want him to think exactly like you do.
Of course you will miss Nathanael when he heads off to Grinnell, where he will get a good education. But keep in mind that Nathanael is much too smart to let any professors or anyone else take over his thinking. He will hear many points of view, and he will sift through them to come up with his own philosphies and way of life. His acquisition of knowledge, not another human's opinions, will be his primary motivating factor as he studies literature, history, sciences, mathematics, languages, and "outdoor activities". It is very reassuring to know that he has the great freedom and oppportunity to spend four years of his life learning and investigating before he has to accept full responsibility for his own future, in which he will likely make some important contribution to improving our world.
Go ahead and cry. It's normal. But as you let go of your boy, remember that at the end you will find a man of whom you will be very proud. In the meantime, give him all the love and faith you can muster. During his own frustrating moments along the way (and he will have them), he will need to know how much you care for him.
Aunt E.
Thank you both.
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