I have officially decommissioned my thighs.

I used to have good legs. I looked good in shorts and miniskirts. I got whistles and piropos. Even ten years ago my legs were hot.

Trying on shorts today I realized it was a losing endeavor. Even if I get super skinny again there is a point of no return and I have passed it.

My thighs are no longer an active entity. They were posing a danger to the community and the world at large. In the best interests of all of society, they will never be seen and hopefully never heard (think two huge barges passing in the Panama Canal)from again.