I deleted the post prior to the one below. I think it's not for everyone to see. I was getting my anger out.
Here's the statement, Mom maybe you can bring this to Dad's attention, and I will talk to you about it later, but I feel sometimes he doesn't listen to me:
JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW how the things work in your life- legally, healthwise, financially (and usually I don't ever bring any of this up) does NOT mean I'm hovering around waiting for your money or stuff. Mom had a meeting with the 4 of us a couple of years ago and showed us where everything is. She even showed us her self-written obituary. Dad, PLEASE do not patronize me by telling me you don't want me to know these things because, Dad, I'm old enough now that I HAVE to know these things.
I am NOT trying to take things out of your house- your crossword books or anything else. How old do you think I am? Sometimes I think you forget I'm 40 and not 14.
I'm sorry I have not become a great success in life- I am trying- it is harder in this day and age for someone to work at the same job for 35 years like you did. I hope to get a job that I can count on for 10 years. I really do. I have tried a lot to do that. I have a lot of social security built up. Do you know what it's like to teach school? Do you know that most teachers now are like me- do it for a few years and then give up on the whole thing? It is NOT the same as when you taught school. Mom knows. You know how much that took out of her. I did it for a few years. I'm not even current on my certificate. That profession was killing me. There's no comparison in teaching now to any other job. Do you know how much easier EVERY job I have had is in comparison to teaching? Do you really think I should continue in that profession when every day I couldn't wait to leave? And I hated the ridiculousness of policies, spending programs, discipline that never solves any problems?
I may teach again in a private school someday, but I'm not even current. Maybe in a private school that won't matter. But right now I'm looking for other things that maybe will bring in just a little more $$ and will be something I look forward to every day.
I know you have sort of turned the world over to "us kids" (all people that aren't retired, really) and you are thinking of your retirement life and have stopped being concerned with the working world. That's fine. But please realize I'm NOT a professor, I'm NOT you. I'm sorry things have turned out so bad for me. My jobs haven't always worked out even though I've done great in all of them. I think sometimes you don't realize the uncertain times we live in. Most people my age, no matter what work they're doing, are ALWAYS looking for another job.
I hope I am not too much of a disappointment. I know you thought I was talented and smart enough to do anything ever. I thank you for your encouragement and I'm talented and smart enough to do some things but not everything.
posted by Ann @ 8:37 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Ann,
never confuse your net worth with your self worth. I can hear your frustration and have been there myself. However, I know, and it seems that you need to be reminded, that we have been and are still are doing one of the most important jobs ever. We are raising people. We made them, we raise them and eventually will release them into the wild. If we did a good job they won't shoot up any highschools. But you get my drift. I don't work in the marketplace right now. Heck, I didn't even know my gift until last year. Wish I had known that in college, then perhaps I would have been more guided.
Being a parent is a HUGE job and typically it falls more to the moms. Tom is the bread winner I am the head zookeeper. Both equally important jobs, I just don't have a paper check to wave in anyones face. I have deep impact on at least two little lives. To me that is the best contibution of all, touching lives. When I volunteer in the classroom I touch more. Am I less sucessfull than my girlfriends who are scaling the corporate ladder? Less sucessfull than those who have no children and pull down a lot more money than me? Less successful than someone who has a neato title after their name? I don't think so. As long as I am activly living life and contributing something somewhere to someone (emphasis on active by the way for me) then I consider that successful. The wheel needs all it cogs to turn.
Hope you find some clarity. Happiness is worth so much more than anything else. It is a little treasure easily overlooked in the rat race. Find it in what you do in everyday life, pass it on like a childhood game and there you will find success.
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