I'm just depressed today. Tired of one person who's a downer at work. Tired of worrying. Tired of people believing the worst in me.

Also my dad is treating me a little strange. I wonder why that is. As if I'm 14 and not 40. Yesterday twice he treated me like a little kid. We were talking about retirement, benefits, Social security vs. state benefits, and though we've had this discussion before and my mom and I have had the whole discussion of how their retirement is working, and also all their investments, and my dad has no problem discussing which investments have done well for him and which haven't, and how he invested his money from the farm, I asked him what his retirement paid him, and he suddenly turns to me and puts on his "Ann is 10 years old" face and said "none of your business." I'm like, "huh? Um, OK." And he says "I won't tell you because I know what you're going to say." I said, "What do you think I'm going to say? I didn't plan to say anything." Then he said something under his breath, somethign about what he thought I would say. "What?" I asked. He muttered again and again I didn't catch it. I finally gave up but not without reminding him tha I was 40 and not 18 or 10 or 14 any more. And avoiding money discussion is wrong. He then went ahead and told me what his retirement was! I didn't say anything, so apparently he didn't hear from me what he thought he would, whatever that was.

Then again I randomly picked up a crossword puzzle book. He buys the puzzle books like I do. I knew it wasn't my mom's because she only does the most difficult ones and those crosswords were easy ones. My dad had done the first few. I picked up the book just to see what other types of puzzles were in it. He says, "Hey! What are you doing with my crossword puzzle book! Don't take my crossword puzzle book!" He thought I was going to steal it! Like I'm going to steal a little book from my dad!!! OMG what is going on with him?!!! Well anyway I guess we always have to get used to changes in our parents, or times when they don't realize we, their children, aren't the same people we were 25 years ago, either. They change but they think we've stayed the same!

Sometimes, though, it's hard NOT to get offended, ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY, MOST ESPECIALLY when I ask him if he's OK- for example, sometimes it sounds like he's struggling for breath and if I ask him if he's OK he gets VERY offended. I think surely he doesn't want anyone preoccupied over his health. He wants to think we don't notice these things. Dad if you ever read this (which I don't think he does), please don't be offended. I know you mostly like to be left alone. But sometimes people do have to look after you.
Ann